i am accompanying celeste in 14-6 doing her project so i came blogging. i hate this particular block man!!!! but i dont have much of choice.

I GOT MY WALLET BACK FROM KAIWEN!!! this is today highlight. 100 plus dollars for my school fees left untouched. i am happy happy HAPPY. he lied to me yesterday, saying he cant find it anywhere. as i didnt have much emotions over losing my wallet. crying and brooding over it dont and will not bring the wallet back, so why should i spoil my mood for this? so i kept my mood great =)

i got up late today 7.41, didnt slept well last night. woke up a few times here and there. i look damn shag without any powder on my face, like some sickly women who ran out of hospital without any permission from the doctor.

got both my term test results already(got my eng fund yesterday) ,my maths got like 75 and my eng fund got like 78, if i dont work harder, i shall kiss my gpa goodbye. MELISA GONNA STUDY HARD ???? i guess so, means no more games, maple, o2, FF [i doubt i can] no more going out, and i shall convince myself by saying I CAN SAVE MONEY!!

yesterday, i finally noe how to choose my cds and i chose it. i only remember i chose japanese, character & leadership building, psychology and something. i forget the rest. as usual, i jus see which title caught my eye and i chose which.

jus now while having lunch. saw that irritating women again. DAMN she spoil my day, everytime i see her nothing good will happen. so we shall see what is going to happen for the rest of the day. dammit she got damn lot of comment bout me. with her group sitting behind me, she is like gossiping bout me. anyway who cares. she is jealous bout me i guess. shit it man, i jus hate her to the core!!

meeting david later for his birthday although is tomorrow, early celebration. and also jin hao to prepare something for birthday present i think....... secret........

not a good day i guess. woke up late. damn! i skipped lecture again. my web app teacher change. the tweety bird resigned. although sometimes she is rather irritating but still, she is a gd teacher at least more experience then the present one. well she can answer all the questions tat we asked. and guess what. I LOST MY WALLET TODAY. 100 plus GONE!! carelessness again. forget it. is over. not fated to be mine.

hows, liked to wrong guy. not expecting anything, jus wanna forget bout it. trying my best too.

omg is the first day of sch. i skipped lecture and since i am free so i update my blog which i haven been updating for like the pass 10+ days i think. i got alot to say. well i will post all my photos tonight when i get home =)

i never slept at all. and i dont feel tired at all. what the hell. i fell asleep while watching shen diao xia lu at tavis's house. for an hour and suddenly i shouted LEG CRAMP. hahas. went to visit my god daughter but apparently she is sleeping. suppose to see doc today but didnt. was quarreling with tavis. DAMN. he quarreled with me cos i wanna change the location if the meeting time. wth. i was too angry. emotions dont bring you anywhere. what the hell. jus irritating. should i meet him+ other pri sch friends? should i. i dunno.

shopping shopping and more shopping =) went to bugis to shop with SHA! she is my BEST shopping pal. having the same taste of fashion and stuff. she bought 2 bottoms and a dress from my workplace. although i haven work since school reopen, but my boss still haven fire me. he listed me under free lance. we both bought french manicure stuff and some make up? LOL face products i guess. we planned to go SENTOSA next wed. yeah!!! sentosa. she is such a great friend =)) well i know her while working, she is my customer and she exchanged number and became shopping pals. fate really do all the things. when we shop, we also go buy this, finding cheap and good stuff. price do really matter. we both come from average families, not super rich. well also can buy more things.




getting tired.... blog tomorrow i guess....

today is really a long day for me. i met so many friends. fate bought me back to all my old friends. jus yesterday, i was talking to david about joel, whom i didnt see him for a year plus, and guess what, while waiting for melissa at somerset mrt, i SAW him! also saw a couple of friends. next up, met yunise, since she is jus at cine so jus pop by and say hi. finally i saw YUNISE! she is a very close online friend, finally i say her. so got a picture with her.



seriously speaking, i wasnt very keen on the idea on kbox, if is not melissa, i think i would have been at tavis house watching shen diao xia lu, slacking and relaxing. and i was right, the people is jus wrong. the kbox was like horrible, wasting money and time. pool was abit better. again fate bought me to another friend. wei qiang was telling me tat he is at paradiz center playing pool. as we were planning to go parklane play pool, so i was telling him that i will pop by and say hi, well finding chances to slip away from them. well end up we were at paradiz center playing pool. the table we took is jus BESIDE wei qiang's table. both me and melissa were taking photos away in pool.


after pool. they went to play lan and i went off. i went home with wei qiang as he offered to send me home. while waiting for mrt at douby ghout, a lady approached me. first impression, i thought she was about to ask me directions and stuff but she didnt. she said " i really like the shirt u are wearing. can you tell me where u bought them?" another cartoon experience. well she is super cute to come and ask this. and not to be hiding, i am over the moon. i have been eye-ing on this top for a period of time and finally i bought it. the unique part of the top is the back, so i took a picture of it. we drop by kovan to eat tua huay, but we didnt, sold out! so instead got grass jelly. david called and we were like being sarcastic about joel. i know i am evil, but he is quite irritating at times.


fate is something that cannot be explained. well fate and destiny is different. fate cant change, on the other hand, we can have ur own destiny. this is how i spent my day today. jus agreed to help in BIE camp. I LOVE CAMPS =)

tml meeting sha for shopping yeah! off to bed, dozing off.......

i woke up at like 2+ in the afternoon. OMG. slept at 8 plus in the morning hahas. having insomia as usual. well i am like suppose the meet david at like 3.30 but i couldnt make it on time. well. i dragged to 4.30 and guess wat. i am LATE!! i reached at 5.


we went to the cathay to watch shrek 3. i got a little high cos i think i got not enough sleep. on our way there i was making damn lot of noise.

eventually. HA, is great singapore sales now so on shopping spree again. i jus got a shirt from flesh imp which i eyed on for a long time. finally bought it. YEAH! i actually also set my eyes on this pair of valentine edition nike shoe which is on a 50% off sale. but, guess what, DONT HAVE MY SIZE. so sad. wanna buy also cannot. i really like that shoe and furthermore is on SALE! i am jus not fated to have that shoe.

well off to sleep i guess. meeting melissa, alvin, and 2 others tml.

i spent my saturday at HOME. i noe is abit boring + pathetic and blah blah. need to save money for next wk. OMG gonna be broke. tues meet sha, wed see doc? thurs meet pri sch peeps, fri meet sab,fri meet yunise, sun go celeste performance. declared BROKE!! hmmm and i think i am free the following week. dammit. squeeze everything in a week!!

anyway what i did today? watch shen diao xia lu again. my all time favourite. LOL. actually accompany tavis watch and explain to him the story. the newest version cut alot of parts so need some explanation cos it is not idiot prove o.O well i love that story. for some reason i also dont know why. but seriously, the girl who acted xiao long nu (liu yi fei) is seriously super PRETTY! she is like fairy when she "fly" in and stuff. and guess what she is only 17 when she acted. wth.

i am suppose to go somewhere. but i DIDNT. i jus cant bring myself to go to watch it. i think i am not in any position to do it i guess so. not appropriate i guess so. dont know i think is guess wrong to appear there. futhermore i think i am not welcome. well only time no place how to even turn up. maybe is hints that i am not really wanted. but who cares, is already the past. i have to be forward looking, not keep looking back and living in the past. no point brooding over the past. nothing well change. i am happy with what i am now and what i have now. so i shall be contented. what is mine will eventually come back to me, things which does not belong to me, will still leave me even if i force it to stay, so what is the point. jus let things happen naturally.

i am happy with what i have now. lalala =))

had LOTS of fun today. spent lots of money too. from kbox to steamboat to tau huay.

i think i had the MOST unlucky morning. i could find the jeans ii wanna wear. & i ended up shouting over the phone with tavis. followed by my maple acc was HACKED! what the hell. although i stopped playing, sometimes i still log in to chat with frens or even when i am too bored, i will start training abit. and all my hard work GONE. DAMMIT. guess what the hacker is my friend. omg. a fren i known for more then a year. anyway. is merely a game. so who cares.

my kbox trip. at cineleisure. suppose to meet at 1.30. but end up having some probs. i reach there at 4. anyway i still have fun. 8 of us went. and spilt into 2 room. in my room. is CELESTE. YOKIE. TRAIN & ME. not sure bout the other room. i think got yuan jian wei qiang wilson vivian and maybe more. well. i CANT sing. anyway i had a great time. CELESTE have a great voice and so do YOKIE.

i SPEND my whole day ROTTING at home. well. is not as bad as i think. or rather i actually enjoy myself. i keep telling myself. DAMN. gonna be bored. but how DUMB can i be! usually when i have lots of program line up for me. i keep wanting to be alone. and now. finally i have a break. why i still keep saying bored. i jus contradicted myself. i came to a conclusion. IS NICE BEING ALONE.

i spend my time. watching shows (200 pound beauty). ripping cds(shen diao xia lu). COMPLETING my cousin tasks. but apparently i cant still. the moment i see the documents jus turned me OFF! besides that. i packed my room. and i found alot of things round. money too.

tomorrow i am busy? i think so. when i SUPER free. nobody wanna call me out. when i am "booked" ppl start to all call me out on the same day. what the hell. anyway going kbox with CELESTE. but i cant sing. i think i gonna embarrass myself tml again. as usual. doing stupid things is my forte. one good example. spilling soya sauce on myself. and gave myself a name. miss soya sauce.

yeah!! term test over! is hols. slacking days=)

but somehow i rather go sch now. i wanna meet the ppl in sch. i wanna be busy over stuff. jus to stop myself from thinking. i am feeling both sad & happy. they are meant to be tgt. finally they are. i am seriously happy for them. come to think about it again. about myself. something jus dun balance out. i cant cry. i jus feel something missing. well. cant be explained through words. doesnt it feels better if i cry it out loud or even scream it out loud. at least better then what i am feeling now. my heart jus dont feel balanced, something is jus weighing it down, and i dont know what is it.

questions like, what am i doing now? what i wanna do next? why am i no being myself? keep running through my head, people around me kept asking this few questions. those questions strike me harshly ever since 7feb. everytime i thought things are solved, are getting back into track, apparently it didnt. is jus a stupid lie i use to bluff myself & making me feel better.

after everything. i jus cant find the key to my lock. my cousin even came back from japan jus to put my mind at ease, still, couldnt solve my problem. coming to think of it, this is the only problem that dragged across the months and i couldnt get it solved, even with the help of my cousin. wat is the reason? can someone tell me? is it because i couldnt let go of things? or is because i cant take things easily? so many unanswered questions. uncountable.

maybe the smiles on my face and the happiness appear to be is jus one of the many faces of me. am i what am i now? or i am jus putting up faces so that people around me feel better? or is jus that is jus another lie so that i will feel better?

can someone jus set my mind at ease. let me hear the sound of the calm waves. let my heart feel relaxed from everything else. or let me hear the resounding wind, to let me find myself once again.

letting the mind to rule or the heart to rule?

suppose to go sch to study eng fund. but end up only down with chapter 1 ONLY. omg i gonna die man. hahas. well. i finally get to see CELESTE=)) after 5 days i haven met her. crys. so ii studied with her, yokie, nick kor& supposingly sexy legs KOR but he end up slacking in esc room. wth lor. we study study end up watching the dance part of step up & take the lead o.O LOL hahas. well. distractions hahas.

as usual some pictures taken while studying. to kill boredom i think hahas =))


so after tat. i end up in esc room. and guess wat. saw tat irritating WOMEN tat disgust me the moment i see her. DAMMIT! she kill mood man. not because i am scared of her or wats. but she jus kill my mood until like i dun feel like doing anything. DAMN. why is she kicking a big fuss out of nothing. i never do anything to her. den she keep irritating me. i will still tolerate her. until one day i cant. she is gonna be DEAD! cant she jus be more mature for a moment. quit doing this childish stuff can o.O LOL

anyways. after tat i met sexy legs kor for dinner. hahas. and we go check something out which is quite interesting. hahas. something tat u cant imagine. yupps. his gf apparently got jealous learning tat he is talking to me. SORRY da sao =)) dun jealous okie. he is jus a gd korkor to me o.O hahas.

maths 1 term test done =)) yeah. left eng fund. DAMN. although i very unsure tat i can pass not. but who cares is over! nth can be done already hahas. i wanted to study ytd. but ended up. blogging, on the fone, everything but study. omg, to think of it i nvr even touch my books o.O so end up today morning go sch early to study o.O i meet sheryl to go sch tgt. den meet james and nic to study at BMIE club room. wahahaa. =))

so during studies, we actually took some fotos o.O





at night discussed with my class to study where. they started to discuss from 10.10 to like 11 plus going to 12. and haven come out with a place o.O wth. from study can drag to chalet sia. have finish test think of play already hahas.

something at my back of my mind. i wonder when will it losen up its knots & let me have a peace of mind.

i noe is kinda weird to have 2 postings in a day. although is pass 12. hmmm. anyways, on my trip to giant there is something real funny happened. hahas =) can u imagine, a turning 17 year old girl can soya sauce on herself o.O and the smell was so strong tat ii smell like a walking bottle of soya sauce. hahahahas. sheryl & cassandra were laughing their heads off =) therefore, in conclusion, they call me miss soya sauce o.O so bad rites =x

apparently, i am suppose to study for term test tml. but i am still blogging & msning away instead of mugging DAMN! i jus cant concentrate man. someone pls help?

off to mugging. i guess.

Finally. blogging days back =) well. i am suppose to be mugging for my term test tml but i ended up. so yupps. term test tml. dies. as usual. melisa is slacking. if i am studying den something must be real wrong.waiting for sheryl finish her dinner. can sleep uu noe o.O dunno how long ago she call me go giant. now she still eating.

And also thanks to YUNISE. ii manage to put the skin =)) well although ii study info com. but still cant deny this, i am still a computer IDIOT. i think this will nvr change hahas. asking a marketing student how to do computer stuff. hmmm ii really must question myself o.O

okiie back to work. mugging for term test tml. [ i doubt i would, going giant soon =) ]