I decided to repost what I had post just now. Went blog hopping around friends. Read alot about relationships that has been happening around me. & found out, things are actually all so fragile, although they seem strong. After all the crap had happened in my life. When I didn't think through throughly what I always wanted. All I did was envy the happy and ever-on going relationships around me. Never had I done anything or put in a single effort for what I always wanted. What was done, only trial and error, one after another, I searched.

Never had I forget about the pain suffered 3 years ago, when someone whom is so important to me left, for another one. That someone who bought me hope and took it away in an instance. That someone who made me believe that love actually exist. That someone who let me understand relationship between two who are true, is indescribable. Ironically, that someone also made me lost hope with love, made me thought that love is nothing but a game between two. Still, I have to thank you for letting me learn so much those days. & I understood that, love is not saying I love you every single day. Is about expressing I love you every single day. Love is not about company every moment, is about knowing each other's support even without one's company. Love is much more then what can be said, is about expressing and communication between each other.

After that someone, I thought that love is just going by nature. When it comes it will come, is time for it to go, it will eventually will. Never put in effort in love anymore. Within that 3 years, the relationship I had been, is nothing but a game. Guilt haunt me. But I can't forget the pain I had before. Can't move on from that fall which hit me so hard, causes me to lose all my senses and everything else.

Never had I expect that, three years later. I am able to open up my heart, and love someone that much. Perhaps more then before. Never had I expect, I try my very best to change myself, for love. Never had I expect that I would go such a distance for love again. At the same time, never had I expect that, despite doing all that, still, I find it not enough.

Is not that I never get satisfied with what you have done. Endless waiting, I really appreciate alot even though it was expressed or said. Your company everyday during the depressed days really made my day. Somehow, just as everything was going smoothly, I get paranoid about everything. Not that trust don't exist between us, not that love between us is fading, is about little details in life silently affects the big picture. Maybe what I had done is not enough.

This is something I wanted you to know, all the while, I told you about that someone, I used to love with my all. But never did I tell you that what he had brought to me and taught me. Now, the story changes, you are that someone which I will give my all too. I love you, dearest.

I know that I have been sticking & clinging too much on to you. But give me sometime, am afraid of your departure. Because, it almost happened once and is still hurting and haunting me. Well, is a good thing to, it tells me how important are you to me.

[We will find back our hope together, definitely. I always believe in that, hope you too]



因为爱太深，所以害怕。
不要怪我，好吗？
我真的害怕你的离去。